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Check Out This Essay That “Worked” For Stanford GSB

December 16, 2019 :: Admissionado Team

Below you’ll find an excerpt of one of our client’s essays that landed them a spot at Stanford GSB. Note: Some changes to personal information have been made to preserve anonymity.

Essay A: What matters most to you and why? (750 words)

“Sixteen – that’s the number of rejections we received from banks when trying to finance my brother’s surgery after a major accident at the factory where he worked. My father had to turn to a private lender who asked for an insanely high rate. My brother’s legs were finally saved, but a 12-inch suture and several implanted metal plates forced him out of the workplace. My mom, after years as a stay-at-home mother, decided to leave our rural village and seek a job in the city to pay the loan and afford both my younger brother’s and my education. As an eleven-year-old kid, I was not aware this single decision would give her and my family a label: migrant worker, just like 270 million others in China …

[Shortened preview – Download the “50 Essays That Worked Vol. 4” PDF for the full text] 

… To further explore the digital space, last year I co-founded Spirit Sustenance, the very first online-to-offline company providing high-end catering services in Beijing. Our digital platform resolves the huge gap between waiters’ workload and their slim income that my mom experienced. After four months, we launched our website and app and allied with 50+ foreign business associations, international schools and expat communities to promote our services. Our company proved to be a hit and is recommended as the best caterer in Beijing by the BeijingBeat website. But the achievement that we are proudest of is creating 18 full-time and 32 part-time job opportunities for migrant workers and increasing their income by 65%, which stimulated me to dive deeper into this field.

My eleven-year-old self wouldn’t believe how far I have marched today. I am thankful that the label stamped on my family did not victimize us, but rather motivated me to make a change. I am committed to expanding the intersection of Internet and finance to provide more tailored and inclusive financial services for migrant workers and their children in China, and eventually smash the stigma against my class.”

Here’s why we want this applicant at our business school based on this essay:

He shows how to overcome adversity and, while experiencing that adversity, identify business opportunities which will give people from disadvantaged backgrounds improved financial access. Facing adversity is not sufficient by itself, but facing adversity and succeeding is a powerful combination.


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